wife

A police officer pulls
over a speeding car.
The officer says, I
clocked you at 80
miles per hour,
sir.”The driver says,
“Gee, officer I had it
on cruise control at
60, perhaps your
radar gun needs
calibrating.”
Not looking up from
her knitting the wife
says: “Now don’t be
silly dear, you know
that this car doesn’t
have cruise
control.”As the officer
writes out the ticket,
the driver looks over
at his wife and growls,
“Can’t you please
keep your mouth shut
for once?”
The wife smiles
demurely and says,
“You should be
thankful your radar
detector went off
when it did.”As the
officer makes out the
second ticket for the
illegal radar detector
unit, the man glowers
at his wife and says
through clenched
teeth, “Darn it,
woman, can’t you
keep your mouth
shut?”
The officer frowns
and says, “And I
notice that you’re not
wearing your seat
belt, sir. That’s an
automatic $75
fine.”The driver says,
“Yeah, well, you see
officer, I had it on, but
took it off when you
pulled me over so
that I could get my
license out of my back
pocket.”
The wife says, “Now,
dear, you know very
well that you didn’t
have your seat belt
on. You never wear
your seat belt when
you’re driving.”
And as the police
officer is writing out
the third ticket the
driver turns to his
wife and barks, “WHY
DON’T YOU PLEASE
SHUT UP??”
The officer looks over
at the woman and
asks, “Does your
husband always talk
to you this way,
Ma’am?”
U'll love this part....
'Only when he's been
drinking.'